I'm freaking out, man.

"J. Walter Weatherman" (J-WalterWeatherman)
02/24/2014 at 11:07 • Filed to: None

This weekend we found out that my wife is pregnant. Our emotions are currently alternating between intense joy and intense panic. It's mostly joy, but then there's the moments of HOLY SHIT THIS IS A LOT OF RESPONSIBILITY I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING HOW CAN I BE TRUSTED WITH ANOTHER PERSON'S LIFE AAAAAHHHHHHHGGGGGG!!!!!!!

It's also tough because we aren't telling our friends about it yet, and it absolutely kills me to keep something like this in. Which is why I am venting to you, my (mostly) anonymous internet friends.

Also, big thanks to !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! for offering to show the wife and I some San Diego breweries on our trip the weekend. Sorry again that we weren't able to meet up. I hope you can understand!

DISCUSSION (88)

BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:09

Congrats man, and don't forget the Guide's #1 tip:

Kinja'd!!!

$kaycog > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:09

Congratulations! Yes, it is quite a responsibility, and your lives will be changed forever...............mostly in a good way.

Brian Silvestro > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:09

Track day,bro.
Yo track day, bro.
You coming, bro?
Coooooooool.
Got some Yokohomas, bro.
Yokohomas for the track day, bro.
No, Super Toyos.
Super Toyos for the track day, bro.
No no, Hoosiers.
Got some Hoosiers for the track day, bro.
Let's go, let's, let's...
Let's kiss.

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

YOU DRIVE A MIATA BECAUSE YOU WANT THE BEST AND YOU DESERVE THE BEST. ONLY THE BEST WILL DO. YOU ROOT FOR THE YANKEES, YOU LOVE THE BOYS. #1. YOU GET SAM ADAMS. THATS THE BEST BEER. YOU PUT ON DARKSIDE AT EVERY PARTY. WHO'S GONNA COMPLAIN ABOUT FLOYD

YOU MAKE POSTS COMMEMORATING FIREMEN, I MEAN WHO'D DARE DOWN VOTE THAT? BABY PHOTOS! BABY PHOTOS! LOTS OF BABY PHOTOS! MY HEART GOES OUT TO THE VICTIMS OF RRHRGRGHRGHRHGRHRGHRGRRGHGHRHGGHGHGH!

Gimmi-Sagan-Om-Draken > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:10

" Our emotions are currently alternating between intense joy and intense panic."

Yeah that about sums it up! Its only the first one, the first one is a bit of a shock as I remember haha.
Congratulations!

CalzoneGolem > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:11

Our emotions are currently alternating between intense joy and intense panic.

As far as I can tell this doesn't end after birth.

heliochrome85 > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:12

CONGRATS!

Leadbull > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:13

Congrats!

RacecaR > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:14

You will be fine. Kids are awesome!!

Here is the first, of a lot of unsolicited parenting advice I am sure you will receive. Just do what you feel is right. It is your child, not someone else's. Don't worry, the baby will let you know when he/she is hungry.

Good luck and congratulations!

Tom McParland > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:14

Yeah joy and panic sound about right... Congrats, good times ahead. I take it this is your first?

Leadbull > $kaycog
02/24/2014 at 11:14

Can I imply that there are little $kaycogs running around?

Can I imply that they also have an intense desire for Ford GTs?

EL_ULY > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:15

duuuude awesome!!!! Congrats!

ttyymmnn > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:16

Congratulations!

I know what you mean about mixed emotions. Our boys are 8, 8 and 11 and I still have mixed emotions about having kids. We had to try like hell for the first one, and then the second time around we had twins. My advice: don't find out the sex of the baby. I know it makes things easier, but it also removes much of the mystery from the process. We didn't find out about our kis, even the twins, though we were pretty certain they were all boys.

Best wishes to you and your wife. Have fun with it.

$kaycog > Leadbull
02/24/2014 at 11:17

I had a son but cancer got him. Nothing in life is worse than that.

OPPOsaurus WRX > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:17

Congratz man! I felt the same way. Make sure you are sitting during the first ultrasound just in-case two little black dots show up instead of one. Good luck. I hope everyone stays happy and healthy.

thebigbossyboss > $kaycog
02/24/2014 at 11:18

That is really terrible. I am beyond sorry to hear that.

timateo81 > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:18

Congrats.

Do not worry, you are hard-wired to succeed, but if there's something that you're burning to do in life, now is the time.

I would say that caring for the baby is the easy part. Managing the rest of your life (now that you don't have any time for it) is the hard part. This goes for your relationship with your wife too.

Blondude > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:18

Congrats on the (hopefully) future Jalop!

desertdog5051 > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:18

You have said in the past you folks were trying. Enjoy it. Kids are a great thing. (until they become teenagers).

thebigbossyboss > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:19

That's awesome.

Offtopic: how is the leg doing?

$kaycog > thebigbossyboss
02/24/2014 at 11:20

Thank you.

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:21

Congrats' mate :) Tiny humans are so much fun, they burp, shit and cry ALL the time; and you STILL love them. That smell of a baby is just.. yeah :)

Bad Idea Hat > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:21

Let me help you.

You are so very not prepared for this. That said, here's what's going to make that all better; nobody is. Things will come up, things will get broken, your free time will be gone, your sex life will go missing, people who hate kids will give you nasty looks in public.

You'll buy a sensible car.

All of your decisions will be based on the kid.

Someday, though, your 2 year-old is going to wander into where you are, hold up their toy Mercedes-Benz 300 SL you gave them because you saw it and bought it on a whim, and they'll say "like my Mercedes!" That's the point where you start to realize how awesome they are.

Don't let people tell you kids ruin your life. Shit is going to change, and anyone who thinks it won't is psychotically deluded. With kids, you get back all of the work you put into raising the kid.

Good luck.

Wacko > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:21

Congrats dude, you have 9 months to get ready, and that's where I am, Waiting for my baby girl to come any day now.

Brewman15 > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:22

Congrats! My little guy just turned 2, and yes a kid will completely change your life.

However, it's a wonderful excuse to play with all the toys you played with as a kid again. I even bought my son a ton of Rokenbok stuff because I thought it was so awesome. He isn't quite old enough to play with it yet, so he watches me play with it...cuz awesome parenting.

iDriveCode3 > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:22

Big congratulations! When I learned my wife was pregnant, the first thing I said was, "how are we going to pay for college!!".

But it was more than that. How could I possibly raise a child when in barely comfortable with my own place in life? All my plans, hopes, desires as a relatively new married man, all put on hold. How could I teach this child everything he or she'd need to make it in this world, and not just survive, but to thrive, be better than I could be? To impart a love of learning, a sense of ethics, morality, religion, when society seems to be falling apart at the seams? Is this the right time, for her, for me, for us?

There is no manual, no perfect time. But that also means there's no one right way, and no better time than now. It's a huge sacrifice, but the rewards are immeasurable.

The man in the iron mask > $kaycog
02/24/2014 at 11:23

I'll Just leave Clapton here, real nice song
you should read the background of the song

joey-taps > $kaycog
02/24/2014 at 11:26

Sorry $kay, my heart is broken over hearing this.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:26

My first child (son) just turned 1 last month.

It's the most awesome thing ever. And sometimes it sucks, lol. But you will quickly get over the baby spitup/changing diapers/every other gross thing that comes out of them. When you hear them laugh or smile, or say their first "dada" nothing else will matter any more, i mean it, nothing.

A tip I've given everyone, when your wife hosts her baby shower, have a diaper and a baby wipes raffle. One pack of diapers gets 1 ticket. One pack of wipes gets 1 ticket. We got $25 gift cards as prizes for it (you can do 50 for more incentive). it's been over a year and we still haven't bought baby wipes lol, ran out of our "Free" stash of diapers at about 7 months old. Start buying them now anyhow though. Walmart/Target/Meijer/babiesRus stores will all exchange for different sizes so no worries.

It's going to be an awesome ride, welcome to the party my friend.

djmanila > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:27

congratulations! It is one of the best things in life. To me the first thing to go was my other baby, the S2000 haha.

Leadbull > $kaycog
02/24/2014 at 11:29

Kinja'd!!!

Aw, sorry to hear that:(

Forgive me for probing.

crowmolly > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:29

Congrats!

Two things I have to mention:

1.) There's tons of info and people who can and will help you every step of the way. Just relax and pay attention to what people say. Some advice will be good, some will be bad.

2.) Remember all of that shit that was really important to you? Soon in won't be as much. This is a good thing.

Kugelblitz > $kaycog
02/24/2014 at 11:30

Wait, WHAT ?? Holy moley that is pure, distilled, horrible.

$kaycog > Leadbull
02/24/2014 at 11:31

You weren't probing. You just asked a question, and I couldn't lie.

J. Walter Weatherman > $kaycog
02/24/2014 at 11:32

Thanks $kay! So sorry to hear of your loss. That is one of my biggest fears.

Kugelblitz > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:34

Welcome to the next level.

Awesome! I kept my two-door until the kid was eleven.

Fortunately for you "The Big Book of Parenting" will get issued at the hospital. I am told everyone gets one. I never got my copy though.

Umm, sleep when the baby sleeps is the most critical piece of advice I have.

Second most is that you will make mistakes being a parent. That is OK. Just keep parenting.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:34

Obligatory Super Troopers "You *are* freakin' out, *man*."

$kaycog > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:34

Thank you. Enjoy that baby and cherish him/her every day.

JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > $kaycog
02/24/2014 at 11:37

I'm so sorry... cancer is the worst disease in my opinion.. I have lost tons of family friends and family to it...

$kaycog > JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
02/24/2014 at 11:38

I think we all have.

JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > $kaycog
02/24/2014 at 11:38

It really just sneaks up... again, I'm sorry

$kaycog > JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
02/24/2014 at 11:39

Thank you.

Kugelblitz > Bad Idea Hat
02/24/2014 at 11:40

I was so stunned when this happened to us I made my partner get TWO pregnancy kits.

So now I have a teenager in umm, April.

Congratulations, your life will not be the same.

HammerheadFistpunch > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:43

Congrats man, and don't sweet it, you'll love it. Yes you will have less time to play but now you have a buddy to take cruisin' with you and teach to bike, and go for rides. Its a sweet deal man, trust me. And congrats again.

Gamecat235 > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:47

Congratulations!!!

As the parent of a 15 year old and a nearly 3 year old let me give you one piece of advice... Everyone will have advice on parenting. EVERYONE. Listen to them, nod, say thank you and then, if the advice fits your own personal style, think about implementing it, if it doesn't, ignore it. This goes for every piece of advice you get (ironically enough, including this one), it does not matter who it is (unless it's your wife, then, well...).

Also, best of luck, you'll be AWESOME. And if you weren't worried about it, I'd be more concerned. Stress helps focus you. Everything will change, but (mostly) everything will be awesome. If you have any questions, at all, you know where to reach me. I have been through a lot (A LOT).

I can only imagine how excited you are, and nervous (especially given the experiences of the past, sorry, I'm a realist before everything else), and excited, and scared, and excited... sometimes all at once. Breathe, enjoy the experience, and congrats again!

Cixelsyd > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:52

That first freak out is a good one, but it doesn't compare to the one you'll have when that financial adviser lays out the costs for funding college.

f86sabre > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 11:57

Let me add to the congrats band wagon! It is one of the most fun things ever. It is mind blowing how fast they develop and take on their own personalities. Let me add my personal worthwhile/worthless advice on the early years:

1) if your hospital has a mothers/lactation group get your wife to go after the baby comes. Being a new mom is filled with more unknowns than being a dad and a support group can be a huge help. Stuff that you would think would come natural is actually pretty hard work. Also, it gives her a place to be in those early weeks so you have to get yourself together and get out of the house. Seriously, I can't recommend this more. We still hang out with families from these groups and it has been 7 years since our first.

2) You don't need a minivan. We've been rocking an 2003 Evo and a MINI since our kids arrived. You don't need to take the whole house with you when you go out. Learn to pack light.

3) One thing that helped me with late night feedings was podcasts. Find something you like and enjoy.

Have fun and enjoy being a dad.

You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 12:01

Congratulations. It is the scariest, freakiest, most horrifyingly unbelievable greatest thing in your life. And starting about now the kid literally runs your life. Not sure when you get to be your own boss again, the Finnlet is only two and he still runs the show. But so much awesome and worth it. Even when you're trying to get the little shit to sleep at 4:30 in the morning and you need to wake up in well shit, I slept for almost an hour last night and need to leave for work it's lunch time already can't remember a bloody thing, why is the alarm going off again, oh crap I need to get ready for work it feels like I haven't slept in a week.

J. Walter Weatherman > Gamecat235
02/24/2014 at 12:02

Thanks!

And if you weren't worried about it, I'd be more concerned. Stress helps focus you.

Story of my life, right there. Worry about things, but make sure to use that worry constructively, to focus on what needs to be done. It's worked for me this long, no sense in changing now.

J. Walter Weatherman > BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion
02/24/2014 at 12:04

I'll do my best. No promises.

J. Walter Weatherman > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
02/24/2014 at 12:06

Thanks! Congrats to you too on surviving the first year!

J. Walter Weatherman > ttyymmnn
02/24/2014 at 12:08

Thanks! I do like the idea of not knowing the sex before hand, but that would NEVER fly with my wife.

Am I a masochist for secretly wanting twins?

J. Walter Weatherman > Brewman15
02/24/2014 at 12:10

Yeah, I am REALLY looking forward to that "getting to play with all the toys I played with as a kid" thing.

J. Walter Weatherman > OPPOsaurus WRX
02/24/2014 at 12:14

I take it that you wound up with twins? Call me crazy, but I kinda want that to happen!(although I fully recognize that I have no idea what I would be getting myself into).

J. Walter Weatherman > iDriveCode3
02/24/2014 at 12:17

Oh man, I haven't even STARTED worrying about the college fund yet. I don't think I have made it past the first year and have already overloaded on things to worry about. I know it will all work itself out, but good golly there are a lot of things to consider.

J. Walter Weatherman > Leadbull
02/24/2014 at 12:17

Thanks!

J. Walter Weatherman > heliochrome85
02/24/2014 at 12:18

Thanks!

J. Walter Weatherman > EL_ULY
02/24/2014 at 12:18

Thanks!

J. Walter Weatherman > Blondude
02/24/2014 at 12:18

Thanks!

J. Walter Weatherman > Tom McParland
02/24/2014 at 12:19

Yep. This will be the first. My wife got pregnant last year too, but that ended with a miscarriage, so that somewhat intensifies the emotions this time around.

J. Walter Weatherman > thebigbossyboss
02/24/2014 at 12:21

It's improving. I am doing lots of physical therapy, and it seems to be helping a lot. I am still a ways off from having normal function back, but I seem to be making steady progress! Thanks for asking!

J. Walter Weatherman > Cixelsyd
02/24/2014 at 12:23

Ha. Yeah, for the sake of my sanity, I am pretending college doesn't exist for the moment.

J. Walter Weatherman > CalzoneGolem
02/24/2014 at 12:26

Crap. RIP JWW's sanity.

Tom McParland > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 12:29

Sorry to hear that...so I hope all goes smoothly this time. Invest in a good stroller. My son is now 17 months, so I will be happy to talk dad stuff whenever you like.

CalzoneGolem > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 12:31

You should watch/listen to Cosby's Brain Damage skit. That will prepare you sufficiently for parenthood.

J. Walter Weatherman > HammerheadFistpunch
02/24/2014 at 12:31

Thanks! I am very much looking forward to having another buddy to take biking and crusin'. Convincing the wife that I should be allowed to take the kid out into the middle of the desert in a 20+ year old car? Yeah, I think I need to start laying the groundwork for that one right now... :)

BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 12:31

Congratulations buddy! Don't worry about screwing the kid up (we all got screwed up by out parents somehow). Just give him something good to carry out into the world with him. This is the purest essence of good parenting.

J. Walter Weatherman > RacecaR
02/24/2014 at 12:33

Yeah, that seems to be a common theme of advice so far.

HammerheadFistpunch > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 12:35

you can use my recent post as president if you like

OPPOsaurus WRX > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 12:35

You're crazy. You really are. I feel like I always need to put the disclaimer that I love my kids and enjoy having them but holy shit! You NEVER get a break. Ones sick then the other. One doesn't sleep through the night then the other. One naps then the other. one swings from the chandelier over the dining room table while the other vaults off the coffee table. one crashes into the stove while the other is throwing toys in he sink. One wants to be held then the other needs to be held cuz the other one is. If 1 is knocking food off the table at the restaurant the other does it cuz that looked funny and mom and dad freaked out. At some point it is suposed to evens out when they can go play together but that isn't happening yet. (20 months old) Buy stock in your local beer company if you end up with twins.

J. Walter Weatherman > OPPOsaurus WRX
02/24/2014 at 12:37

Haha. Duly noted. And I kinda like that idea of buying stock in my local beer company, twins or not!

RacecaR > $kaycog
02/24/2014 at 12:37

Oh gosh. So sorry to hear that!

J. Walter Weatherman > f86sabre
02/24/2014 at 12:39

Thanks!

Re: the minivan - I am lucky enough to be married to someone that dislikes them even more than I do!

J. Walter Weatherman > timateo81
02/24/2014 at 12:44

I would say that caring for the baby is the easy part. Managing the rest of your life (now that you don't have any time for it) is the hard part.

Good point. Here I am freaking out about the "caring for the baby" part (which I am going to freak out about no matter how many people tell me it is easy) and I didn't even THINK about that whole "rest of my life" part. NOW I HAVE TWICE AS MUCH TO FREAK OUT ABOUT!!!!

OPPOsaurus WRX > Bad Idea Hat
02/24/2014 at 12:45

well said.

J. Walter Weatherman > crowmolly
02/24/2014 at 12:46

Remember all of that shit that was really important to you? Soon in won't be as much. This is a good thing.

Very good point. I have been trying to tell myself that for a while now. I probably won't fully appreciate just how true it is until the baby actually comes.

Meatcoma > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 12:55

You needz better practice at pullouties.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 12:56

Thanks! and looking back we've realized that we should have stressed less!

First 6-7 months are a breeze, then the crawling started. Then he got smart enough to let the dog out of his crate at about 8-9 months, and just before a year he started walking.

Man, walking makes everything crazy. Don't stress about "Baby proofing" right away btw, they don't typically move on their own until past 6 months lol.

ttyymmnn > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 13:00

When I tell people that we have twins, I often get the response, "Oh, that would be so fun!" This was always said by somebody who never had twins, or had no children at all. What I always said to them was, "Imagine all the dirty diapers, the nighttime feedings, the puking, the stomach viruses, and then multiply by two." It's great that the child always has somebody to play with, though. I'm glad I had twins second because all the normal illnesses, bumped heads and skinned knees had been handled with the first kid. After that, whenever anybody falls down, you say, "Are you bleeding? No? Walk it off."

J. Walter Weatherman > ttyymmnn
02/24/2014 at 13:05

Kinja'd!!!

ttyymmnn > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 13:16

Aw, man, I don't mean to rain on your parade. To be honest, I see all these portrayals and hear stories about people finding out they're pregnant, and they're jumping with joy, calling their friends. It's the happiest day of their lives. I was never that way. I was never certain that I wanted kids. We waited so long for me to finish school and unsuccessfully hunt for a job that we said, "Well, if we're going to do this, we need to do it. We're getting old." (I was 36 when our first son was born, my wife was 34.) Our first pregnancy was a miscarriage, and the second time was I so worried about another miscarriage that I forced myself not to get excited. With the other kids, I hated the sonograms because I always expected to discover something horribly wrong. I was never able to sit back and enjoy it. I've always been a catastrophist about things, expecting the worst but hoping for the best. So please, don't let my experiences taint your own wishes. Just be ready for a lot of work if you have twins!

f86sabre > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 13:25

They have their place, but you don't have to move to a boring car. People seem to get that in their head. Kids love acceleration.

J. Walter Weatherman > ttyymmnn
02/24/2014 at 13:27

No worries. I was only half serious anyway.

Your situation actually sounds a lot like ours. We put off having kids for a while, first law school for me, then grad school for the wife, then buying a house, fixing it up and just trying to get our life somewhat stable. Then the first pregnancy was a miscarriage. I thought I would be more guarded this time around, too, but I just can't help the excitement.

crowmolly > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 14:35

I really, really, freaking REALLY didn't want to be "that guy" who says "you don't fully understand". People like that used to piss me off something awful.

Your kid will do awesome stuff. Building a kickass car is one thing, when your kid hits milestones is another. I had a bad day once and when I came home my 2 year old went into her playroom, got her teapot and teacups, and poured me a cup of tea. She had never done that before. Did it cheer me up? Hell yea it did!

Makoyouidiot > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 14:37

Ours just turned one last weekend...congratulations, and don't stress, it's not as hard as it could be. Usually. Seriously tho, treasure every moment, because they grow like kudzu.

N51fanatic > J. Walter Weatherman
02/24/2014 at 21:57

we just had our first two weeks ago, greatest thing ever. I get home and just stare at him. It sounds cliche, but it really is an amazing feeling. Congrats to you both. My wife bought me a "baby on board" sticker for the E82.

fhrblig > J. Walter Weatherman
02/25/2014 at 00:00

Congratulations and good luck!

Gamecat235 > J. Walter Weatherman
05/30/2014 at 20:17

Hey man, just checking in to see how you are doing, haven't seen you online in awhile (I haven't been around much either). Hope that everything is well.

J. Walter Weatherman > Gamecat235
05/30/2014 at 23:54

Doing well! I have just been busy with work and the pregnant wife and whatnot. How about you? I still wouldn't mind grabbing a beer if you are ever free.